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March 04, 2005

WE INTRODUCE OPERATION HAREMAIL!!!!

Hi kids!

It's getting on to Easter time, and we here at Polka Dot Mittens have decided to do a little sumthin-sumthin to celebrate our very favorite rabbit-themed holiday.

Now, you may not celebrate Easter. Maybe you're having yourself a little Ostara fiesta. Or a Samana Santa soiree. Or an Evacuation Day party. Maybe it's your birthday. Or maybe you're just excited about the prospect of the tips of your ears thawing out soon and being able to go outdoors and runch your toes around in the dirt without losing a few to frostbite. That is just fine by us. Whatever you're celebrating, we are all for it.

And to that end, we have decided to have our very first official (quasi-) organized event! A shindig, if you will! An opportunity to make new friends in far away places, promote world harmony, and most importantly, to GET OUR PAWS ON SOME CHOCOLATE BUNNIES, BABY!!

We are very proud to introduce our "Help A Rabbit Explore Many An Interesting Location" program (Codename: Operation HAREMAIL. ) which is as far as we know, the internet's first and only official chocolate rabbit exchange program!

(Ta-Daaaaaaaaaaaaa!!)

Okay. So here's the schoop on how this thing is going to work:

Step One:
Email your name, the URL for your blog (if you have one) and snail mail address to rabbits@polkadotmittens.com by next Friday, March 11 if you would like to play. All information will be kept strictly confidential, and I will only give it to your partner. Promise. If you suddenly find yourself getting a subscription to "Badger Sportsman Magazine," I will have nothing to do with it. (Yes, there really is. Weird old world, ain't it?)

Step Two:
At some point over that weekend, I will sit down with a large cup of coffee and pair you up with your very own Bunny Buddy.

Step Three:
On Monday March 14, all Bunny Buddies will be introduced to one another via email by yours truly.

Step Four:
On Thursday March 17th, we will all drink a lot of green beer and pass out in an alley while trying to avoid a small redheaded gentleman who keeps asking if we want to see his Lucky Charms. (This step is optional.)

Step Five:
Get thee to a bunnery! (Man, I am on such a roll with the bad rabbit puns today.) Go out and find the ultimate chocolate bunny or bunny-related gift item of your dreams. More details about what does and does not constitute a chocolate bunny are below. Then you have until March 31st to haul tail (see??) down to the post office and mail it to your buddy.

This is all done on the honor system, so please try to get your gifts out on time. I'm going to be very sad if I get an email from somebody who is bunnyless on April Fool's Day.

Step Six:
Come home from work and find an utterly nifty Haremail package of your own on your doorstep. Commence enjoying it at once!

Rules: Guidelines:

1. The bunnies don't actually have to be chocolate if you don't want them to be. They can be handmade creations or jewelry charms or toys or stuffies or bunny-themed notecards or whatever your creative little noggin can dream up. If you don't like chocolate, please mention that when you send me your address and I'll pass along the info, you little weirdo.

2. They do not technically have to be brown bunnies, either. We're a very non-discriminatory website, and all the colors of bunnydom are embraced here. White chocolate and dark brown chocolate are welcome. We are all about the bunny love.

3. They cannot under any circumstances be LIVE bunnies. Otherwise PETA will be all up in here spray painting me.

4. They also cannot under any circumstances be DEAD bunnies. This is supposed to be fun, so don't be getting all Glenn Close on me, m'kay?

5. There is a $15 spending limit, which will hopefully keep everything under $20 with postage. So if you were thinking about that solid gold rabbit hood ornament for your Buddy's Rolls-Royce, you'll have to slow down there, Miss Hilton.

So... unless I've forgotten something, which is entirely probable, that's it. If you have any questions, please feel free to email me and ask them.

Now get hopping!

(I'm sorry. I really am. They just keep slipping out.)

---

Yes, this is the big announcement. And for those of you who emailed me about it earlier this week, I would like to state categorically that I am not:
- engaged
- married
- pregnant
- getting another dog
- getting rid of the current dog even if she has been on quite a rip all week
- moving to Patagonia with someone called Luis
- actually Martha Stewart and happy to be sprung from the "big house."

Thank you.

- tammy

Posted by tammy at March 4, 2005 09:01 AM

Comments

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